Training Log—1st April 2018: My Hair Isn't Long Enough
Training is a mess. The reason is obvious. My hair situation is all wrong.
Looking at the male runners I follow on social media, they fall into two categories: Samsons and Smarties.
Samsons are the hairy ones. Sean Conway, Johan Steene, Michael Versteeg, among others... big beards and hair that would get them into any 80s rock band. Jamil Coury doesn't have a beard anymore, but he has beautiful hair. When I see him run, I always think of an Afghan Hound in full flow. Gary Robbins is maybe shallow up top, but my goodness, he has the superbest red beard.
Smarties are the tidy ones. People like Sage Canaday, Kilian Jornet, Jeremy Fermo, Stephen Cousins, Harry Jones, Billy Yang, Schuyler Hall. Short hair, either clean shaven or with precision trimmed stubble.
My beard is full yet not significant. It doesn't have its own Twitter account. People don't marvel at it.
My hair is sometimes tidy and trim, but mostly unruly. When it grows, it grows mostly upwards and outwards, not downwards. It looks like a hairy crash helmet.
I hover between a Samson and a Smartie, committing to neither. What you end up with is a mediocre endurance runner.
My three steps to becoming an ultra-running granite man:
- Grow hair very long.
- Grow beard very long.
- Dye hair and/or beard red.
These three can be condensed into the following single step:
- Just run more, you moron.
Days to Kerry Way Ultra Lite: 160
Training kilometres last week: 16.5 (Strava), 18.8 (me)
Number of runs last week: 3 (Strava and I agree on this)
The distances at the end of the article have been updated to include a run today subsequent to the post going live. Previously, training kilometres last week: 10.5 (Strava), 11.6 (me); number of runs last week: 2 (Strava and I agree on this); number of runs last week: 2 (Strava and I agree on this)